Wag
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Bored Tifa plus Materia equals a weird day for Reno. ReTi oneshot. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Wag

AN: I own nothing in this story. Please R&R.

Tifa Lockhart was bored. Her boyfriend was currently out shopping and she had declined to go with him. She was regretting that now as anything would be better than just sitting on the couch. Tifa was about to scream to the heavens about her boredom when she spied some odd colored Materia on the coffee table.

"Should I…?" Tifa wondered but her curiosity got the better of her and she absorbed the Materia into herself. "I wonder how you activate it..." But as soon as the Materia was in her body she felt light headed and passed out.

When she was able to open her eyes again, she found herself covered by some kind of leathery material. She tried to shove it out of the way with her arms but found that she couldn't even see where her arms were thanks to the lack of light. Finally she spied a beam of light at the end of the darkness and walked into it.

Everything appeared black and white to her eyes. Had she cast some kind of disease inflicting spell on herself? Luckily she had a mirror in the living room of her apartment and walked up to it, not noticing how big everything looked.

In front of her mirror, instead of Tifa's normal reflection a tiny black puppy with floppy ears stared out from the mirror. Tifa moved. The puppy in the mirror moved exactly like she did. Tifa tried to talk but all that came from her mouth was a series of barks. Looking behind her she saw her clothes in a pile on the floor and she realized that's what she had been trapped in earlier. Suddenly she saw something out of the corner of her eye. What was it? Running around in circles she finally realized what it was: her tail. She had to catch it! Just then she heard someone approaching the doorway.

Reno opened the doorway, his arms heavy with all the groceries he was carrying but he had his usual cocky smile on his face as he entered the apartment he now shared with his girlfriend.

"Tifa, I'm home!" Instantly he noticed two things: 1. Tifa's clothes were lying in a pile by the couch. 2. The materia he had been asked to keep safe was gone. Suddenly he heard a bark and his eyes turned downward. All thoughts of the missing materia flew from his head. A tiny black puppy was looking at him, its eyes big and black and it's big ears flopping every which way. He could only respond in one way.

"How cute!!!" He exclaimed. Quickly setting his groceries down the Turk picked up the puppy and hugged it close to him. "Oh you are the cutest little doggy! Tifa will just love you little guy! Now what should we call you…I know we'll call you Candy because you look so cute I could just eat you up."

Tifa wanted to die from embarrassment. Her boyfriend had now called her the most idiotic name she had ever heard anyone call a dog. Unfortunately she couldn't do anything held in Reno's arms and she wiggled around a bit, signaling her displeasure at being held.

"You want down Candy? Alright, let's go down." He then placed Tifa on the floor and she instantly ran to her clothes and started rolling around in them, looking back up at Reno and then at her clothes, trying to make him understand.

"You know where Tifa is?" She barked and nodded her little head. "Did she buy you as a surprise for me? I bet she did because you know what Candy, she's the best woman in the world." If Tifa could she would have blushed but then she felt a new urge come upon her, she was hungry. As if Reno could read her mind, he smiled down at her. "Hey I bet you're hungry. I don't have any dog food with me but let me see what I can get for you."

Tifa looked down at the bowl of ice cream and the bowl of water Reno had set before her. Obviously Reno didn't know anything about nutrition for dogs. But she lapped at both and soon had drunk half the water and eaten most of the ice cream. She plopped down then and there and gave out a satisfied bark.

"Full already Candy? Well that's okay; let's go take a nap, hmm?" He then picked up Tifa and brought her to the bedroom. Setting her gently on the bed, Reno then saw some red ribbon. He smiled deviously to himself. He wasn't an idiot and had known that the puppy was indeed Tifa and he also knew that the spell from the Materia would wear off soon and he wanted to have a little fun. Taking the ribbon in his hand he gently went to work, tying some ribbons and bows in his girlfriend's fur.

Tifa wearily opened her eyes. Everything was in color and things didn't look so big. She was back to normal and got up out of bed. It was then that she noticed her state of dress or rather her lack of it. She felt something stir behind her and saw Reno with his usual cocky smile on his face, throwing the Materia that had caused her transformation up into the air and catching it again.

"Hey Tifa or should I call you Candy?" Tifa blushed furiously and whacked him over the head with a pillow.

"You knew?! And you didn't try to change me back?" Tifa yelled in anger. Reno grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards him.

"Teef, I couldn't cast a reversal spell for this Materia because one doesn't exist. Luckily for you the spell ends after a certain amount of time."

"How do you know all that?" At her question Reno grinned.

"When Tseng first gave it to me to study I was in a bind but then I just decided to test it on Elena. Needless to say Tseng wasn't happy. So I took it home."

"That was stupid of you." Tifa said.

"Not as stupid as testing an unknown Materia on yourself." Reno commented.

"Whatever now can we put this whole ordeal behind us?" Tifa said, running her hand through her hair. Just then she felt the ribbons and bows Reno had tied into her sable locks. "I'm going to get you back for this Re, just you wait." Tifa promised. She then felt pretty hot and her tongue hung out of her mouth. The barmaid then panted a little bit and Reno raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like there are some side effects." Reno said. Tifa's face blushed and she quickly got her tongue back in her mouth.

"Just great…why do these things happen to me?" Tifa said. Reno hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear.

"I don't know Tifa but I do know one thing."

"And what's that?" Tifa whispered back.

"I love you and I'll never stop." Tifa smiled at him and licked him on the cheek. Reno stared at her.

"I can't help it!" Tifa said, her face blushing. Just then she had an urge strike her. "Hey Re…" Tifa said, pouting at her lover.

"Yeah?" Reno said. Tifa then rolled on her back.

"Could you rub my belly?" At that Reno started laughing but laid his hand on her bare stomach, rubbing it. Tifa's left leg started moving up and down really fast and she sighed in pleasure. "Thanks Reno that really hits the spot."

"I just hope you're back to normal before the ninja brat and the vampire come over for dinner." Any further comments Reno might have were silenced as Tifa pounced on him and started licking his face. Despite all the insane turns he found his life taking, as long as Tifa loved him he could handle anything. He smiled at his girlfriend who hadn't ceased in her licks.

"Okay, okay calm down girl. You'll get saliva in my hair."

"I can't help it Reno!" Tifa said her voice almost a growl.

"You can't huh?" He then smirked at her and Tifa didn't like that look in his eyes. Reno then faked throwing the Materia off to the side. Tifa instantly leapt off the bed and looked around for it.

"Where did it go?" She turned around in a circle and then saw the Materia still held in her lover's hands. "Reno don't mess around with me or I'll bite you."

"Alright I won't do anything else." Tifa then jumped up on the bed and lay down beside him. She yawned very much like a dog and put her head on his stomach. Her butt also shook back and forth as if she still had a tail and Reno had to use all of his will power to not laugh out loud. Tifa then rubbed her nose in Reno's hand and Reno stroked her hair. Tifa sighed in pleasure, her breathing soon turning into loud whines and snores. Sometimes life could be ruff, Reno thought, chuckling to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner

AN: I own nothing in this story. Please R&R.

A knock came at the door about an hour later and Reno jolted up out of bed, Tifa waking up at the loud noise and running towards the door on all fours. Reno ran after her and managed to catch her before she made any noise. Quickly taking her to the bedroom he got her dressed as best he could, hoping their guests wouldn't notice.

"Reno stop it, I can dress myself!" Tifa yelled.

"Teef you're still under the side effects of that Materia; heck I'm surprised you can still talk." Reno said, glad he was still in his presentable Turk uniform. He then ran up to the door and answered it, a smile on his face. "Hey guys are you ready for dinner?" Yuffie put her hands on her hips, her gaze boring into Reno.

"We were ready fifteen minutes ago Turkey. You weren't doing anything perverted with Tifa were you?" Just then Tifa came around behind the ninja and lowered her nose to Yuffie's backside, sniffing loudly.

"Hey Yuffie you smell nice!" She said in a very happy voice. The ninja went wide eyed at her friend's disturbing canine behavior.

"What in the hell has Reno done to you?" Yuffie asked.

"I actually did it to myself, there's this Materia and…" But whatever Tifa was going to say was cut off by a blur of green and brown that ran in the house, searching every nook and cranny for the Materia. Finding the odd colored magic orb in the bedroom, Yuffie picked it up and carried it with her back out to her friends.

"This thing doesn't look so dangerous." Yuffie then absorbed the Materia into her arm and waved. "See nothing's wrong."

"Yuffie, maybe you shouldn't have done that." Vincent said calmly. Before his girlfriend could reply a flash of light covered her form and when it dissipated only her clothes remained with a squirming bundle in the middle of her shirt.

"Oh boy…" Reno said. Vincent instantly turned towards Reno, his eyes set in a glare.

"What happened to Yuffie?" Just then a tiny golden retriever puppy wiggled its way out from under Yuffie's shirt. Vincent's jaw dropped. "Y-Y-Yuffie?" The dog barked and nodded its little head. Tifa then came around and licked Yuffie's now furry forehead. Vincent then fainted and Reno caught him, sighing heavily.

"Reno, do you think these side effects are ever going to end?" Tifa asked, sitting on her haunches and tongue panting.

"I don't know babe but now I have to take care of you, the ninja brat, and pray that Vincent doesn't kill me when he wakes up."

"I'll say it again; you were stupid for bringing this Materia home."

"Hey I was kind of ordered to get rid of it and I was about to when someone who will remain unmentioned decided to cast it on herself." Reno said. Tifa barked angrily in response.

* * *

Vincent opened his eyes and hoped he had just had a nightmare. Yuffie was staring at him, her brown eyes wide and curious. Smiling the tiniest fraction at his girlfriend, the gunslinger sat up. Yuffie instantly licked his cheek, luckily Reno had managed to get her dressed or else Vincent might have fainted again.

"Sorry about that Vinnie, I can't control these canine urges of mine. Tifa's in the same boat and she's been like this for about 3 hours now so it could last a while." Vincent glanced over and saw Tifa lying on the couch on her back, her butt wiggling back and forth as if she had a tail. Reno was rubbing her belly and her left leg was moving really fast.

"Just go with it Vincent. Nothing else we can do right now anyway." Reno said. Tifa then pounced on him and licked his face again and leaving a bit of saliva on his mouth as well.

"Hey Vinnie, could you give me a belly rub too?" Yuffie whined, rolling onto her back.

A knock then sounded at the door. Tifa and Yuffie instantly ran towards it, barking furiously. Reno motioned for Vincent to grab and hide them which the gunslinger somehow managed to do, taking them into the bedroom. Reno then answered the door and saw Cloud on the other side.

"Hey Reno, just wanted to stop by. Is Tifa around by chance?" Cloud was holding a box in his hands with air holes cut in it.

"Yeah she is…but um she's really sick." Reno said, thinking up the quickest excuse he could.

"Well then this will cheer her up." Cloud said, pushing his way past Reno and into the house. "Is she in the bedroom?" Cloud asked when he heard a loud cry of pain emanating from behind the closed door on the left. But before Reno could answer him the spiky haired savior opened the bedroom door. He stared wide eyed at the scene before him. Tifa and Yuffie had a pair of underwear held between their teeth and both women were growling at each other, trying to wrest their prize from the other's mouth. Vincent was on the bed, his eyes wide and hands covering up his backside.

"What in the hell is going on?!" Cloud exclaimed. At his voice both female Avalanche members turned towards him. They then started barking loudly at the box in Cloud's hands from which a hissing noise could be heard. Before anything could be done both spell addled women crashed into the Ex Solider sending the box flying through the air where the lid came undone and a black cat came shooting out. Tifa and Yuffie chased after the cat, barking loudly and butts wiggling, happy at the chase.

"Okay Spiky, here's what happened…Tifa cast an unknown Materia spell on herself turning her into a puppy. Luckily there's a time limit on the spell and she returned to her normal human form. Unfortunately she is now acting more like a dog then she did when she was really a dog, which is a side effect or so I believe. The little princess and Valentine stopped by for dinner and the ninja cast the Materia on herself. And now here we are with two spell induced women." Reno said, hands in his pockets.

"And what do you propose we do?" Cloud asked.

"We catch them before they ruin this apartment, you take that cat away, and then we'll wait it out. It's bound to end sometime."

"Alright, we'll do it your way for now but if they don't change back you can say goodbye to your two best friends and I don't mean Rude and Tseng." Cloud said his eyes narrowing.

* * *

After an hour and a half of barking, biting, and cursing Reno, Cloud, and Vincent had managed to calm the women down and luckily Vincent could wear Reno's pants so he wasn't embarrassed so much. Cloud had returned to his house with the cat while Vincent and Reno were left with their canine acting lovers.

"So what did Cloud want?" Tifa asked, running around in circles after her butt.

"He wanted to check on you and give you a cat as a gift and he blames me for this whole mess but the coup de grace was when he threatened to castrate me if you're not back to normal soon." Reno said. Tifa stopped running around in circles and leapt beside him on the couch. She laid her head on his lap and buried her nose in his side. Petting her head softly, Reno let out a sigh and Tifa licked him on the lips.

"Don't look so depressed Re. This was partly my fault and it's actually kind of fun." She said, smiling at the petting she was receiving.

"I just hope this ends soon and you're yourself again." Just then Tifa got up and rushed towards the bathroom. "Tifa what are you doing?"

Vincent meanwhile was playing fetch with Yuffie. Bringing the ball back to her lover, butt wagging fiercely, she dropped the saliva covered thing at his side.

"Vinnie I should really listen to you more huh?" Yuffie said, yawning loudly.

"I would say yes but if you did that would be out of character." Vincent said.

"So wasn't I the cutest puppy you ever saw?" The ninja said, smiling.

"You were adorable but I much prefer your normal hyper and klutzy self." Yuffie bit at his hand playfully and Vincent patted her head.

"I am not a klutz!" Yuffie yelled loudly.

"Yes you are but now you're a klutz acting like a dog." Vincent joked with a straight face. Yuffie huffed and trotted away on all fours, butt held high in the air like a proud poodle.

Tifa currently had her tongue in the toilet bowl lapping at the water inside. Her backside was wagging but her face wore an expression of disgust.

"Tifa that is disgusting!"

"How do you think this tastes Reno? I can't help acting like this so just deal with it!" Suddenly Tifa felt her canine urges diminishing. Lifting her head out of the toilet bowl she then stood on two legs and hugged Reno tightly. "I'm back to normal!" Tifa said, kissing Reno deep on the lips in her excitement. Reno broke apart first, his expression one of horror.

"Teef you just kissed me after licking the toilet!" Reno yelled.

"I'm sorry I was caught up in the moment." The couple then washed their mouths out with plenty of mouth wash. Tifa then walked into the room and checked on Yuffie. The ninja princess was running after her butt, obviously still under the effects of the materia.

"Sorry about this Vincent." Tifa said.

"It's okay Tifa, it was Yuffie's own fault for not listening to me."

"Vinnie could you give me another belly rub please?" Yuffie asked, looking at Vincent with puppy dog eyes. Vincent nodded and went to fulfill his girlfriend's desire.

* * *

After Yuffie returned to normal a few hours later, she and Vincent left. Tifa then took the Materia that had caused this whole mess and crushed it between her fingers. She then turned towards Reno and noticed his forlorn expression.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened today Tifa." Tifa hugged Reno once more and kissed him on the cheek.

"I forgive you Reno now stop beating yourself up about this okay?" Reno nodded and Tifa went to the fridge, looking for some food. "Good now you start cooking some dinner alright? I'm starving!" Reno chuckled and started taking out some pots and pans.

A week later Cloud again stopped by, this time with nothing to give to Tifa except a hug and a slight smile.

"I'm glad you're back to normal." Cloud said.

"It wasn't that bad Cloud."

"If you say so." Cloud said. Just then a cat walked by the open door and Tifa barked at it loudly. Crimson stained her features and Cloud then turned to Reno, his gaze furious and his hand on his sword hilt.

"Reno remember what I told you… but Cloud was cut off by Tifa's body slamming into his. She started growling at him then, her mouth bared back and her teeth showing. She was on all fours on top of his body and she stared into his face with blazing eyes full of rage.

"Leave now and I won't leave you with stitches." Tifa said calmly. Cloud nodded and left as fast as he could. Tifa stood up on her two feet and walked towards Reno, smiling at him.

"Um…why did you do that?" Reno asked, confusion on his face.

"He was threatening you and no one's going to do that while I'm around." Tifa stated plainly.

"But you probably just ruined your friendship with Chocobo Head." Tifa laughed lightly and hugged him close to her.

"He'll get over it." Tifa then licked Reno on the side of the face and her butt wagged back and forth, signifying her happiness.

"I think you got cursed thanks to that Materia." Reno commented. Tifa rolled her eyes but licked him again. She wasn't really worried that she would ever start acting normal again, and besides Reno gave the best belly rubs, the barmaid thought, butt wagging once more as she pressed closer to her lover.


End file.
